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I
have something special for you, I only thought
it right to make a post while high, to welcome
National Pot Smokers Day.
Are
you going to celebrate and get high? Going to
go to a Legalize It protest? Take part, have a
good time, get high!
Send
in your drug related stories for the Druglife
Section by clicking
here.
And
now for something completely different:
Remember
that "I Am Canadian" commercial from
a while back? The one that got all popular, the
speech one... yea, you know.
Just
to make it ethnically equal, here are some spin-offs
of that commercial;
I
AM ITALIAN
Ciao...
I'm not a construction worker, a brick layer or
a school janitor. I don't live in a basement,
or eat pasta every night. And I don't drive a
Camaro, and I don't know Tony, Rocco or Gino from
Woodbridge, although I'm certain they're very
very hairy people.
I drink wine...not beer. I don't use utensils
for pizza. I believe in open bars at weddings,
not cash, and its pronounced ESPRESSO, not EX-PRESSO.
I can proudly fly my country's flag out of my
car during the world cup. Gelato IS ice cream,
Biscotti ARE cookies, Pavarotti IS the best of
the three tenors, and it's Broo-SKetta, not Broo-SHetta!!
Italy is the ONLY country shaped like footwear,
The FIRST nation
of soccer, And the BEST part of Europe!! My name
is Guiseppe!!
AND I AM ITALIAN!
I AM PAKISTANI
Allo,
I'm not a cab driver, a 7-11 clerk or a gas attendant.
I don't go to flea markets, or worship elephants,
or eat with my hands, and I don't know Akbar,
Rampreet or Mohammed from Rundle, although I'm
certain they're very smelly people.
I eat roti....not pita. I don't only shower once
a week, I believe in discounts, not full price.
I pronounce it WHAT, not VHAT. I can proudly fly
my country's flag out of my car during a terrorist
siege. A turban IS an article of clothing. Spicy
foods ARE better than mild foods. Curry is a VERY
tasty dish, and it IS pronounced Gaun-dee, not
Gun-dee, GAUN-dee!! Pakistan IS a third world
country, the first nation of Cricket, and the
BEST part of the middle east!! My name is Raheem!
AND I AM PAKISTANI!
I AM CHINESE!
Wai...
I'm not a cook, a computer tech, or the owner
of a laundromat. I don't live with my parents,
I don't eat dog. I don't drive a supped-up Civic.
I don't know Ping, Ching or Wing from Beddingt
Heights, although I'm certain they're very rice...
I mean nice people. I use chopsticks, not a fork.
I rarely drive on the sidewalk.
I
believe in giving cash, not gifts, and I pronounce
it HELLO, not HARRO. I can proudly wave my country's
flag at a tank during a massacre. Dim sum IS brunch,
Gwai-Los ARE white folk, Jet Li can kick Van Damme's
ass any day, and it IS pronounced Gon Hay Fa Choi,
not Gon HEE Fa. China is the LARGEST country in
Asia. The FIRST nation of PING-PONG, and the BEST
remaining COMMUNIST COUNTRY!! My name is FUNG!!!
AND I AM CHINESE!!
I AM AMERICAN
Wassup...
I'm not particularly intelligent, open-minded,
or well-liked. I don't live in a safe place, eat
a balanced diet, or drive very well. I don't know
Shakespeare, Da Vinci or Gutenberg, although I'm
pretty sure they were American. I drink beer,
not water. I am outspoken, not opinionated, and
Guns settle disputes, not discussions. Winning
isn't everything, it's the ONLY thing, and it's
pronounced RUFF, not ROOF.
I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack,
unless I go
somewhere. Burger King IS fine dining. Washing
after peeing is for
LOSERS. Twinkies and Moon Pies ARE GOOD for breakfast,
I have a
SHED, NOT a GARAGE, and WWF ACTION IS REAL! The
UNITED STATES OF AMERICA is the ONLY country in
the world, the FIRST nation of IGNORANCE, and
the BEST part of SOUTH AMERICA!! MY NAME IS JIM-BOB,
I am married to my sister, AND I AM AMERICAN!!
I
AM DRUGGALO
Hell'Oi...
I'm
not particularly sober, a nice guy, or able to
remember your name. I don't live by their rules,
eat at their restaurants, or drive while I'm sober.
I don't know Larry, Curly, or Moe, although I'm
certain they're all very high. I drink beer or
liquor, not milk. Being high IS the only way,
and it's pronounced SKLIFF, not SPLIFF.
I
can proudly wave my middle finger at any form
of authority. A joint at noon IS brunch, beer
CAN substitute a meal, and if you fuck with me,
you're fuckin' with your life. You mean nothing
to me, I can't be killed, if you're not down with
my tactics, you can suck my cock. Being a Druggalo
IS the ONLY way of life, I live by MY word, and
I want MY SHIT. MY NAME IS KYLE BERMER, I just
impregnated your sister, AND I AM A MOTHER FUCKING
DRUGGALO!!
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