I missed updating the site yesterday because I did something really, really bad. I got a job.

You are now listening to the ranting's of an official Future Shop employee/AT&T rep/Bell rep. Yup, can you believe it? I'm selling ISP to rich people while thinking about all the booze I'm going to guzzle with the commission they are making me. I have finally found the source of some capital.

To make up the lack of an update, and in celebration of my new found income; I have several treats for you. So in exchange, vote.

First on the list is several Santa pictures. Stoned reindeer, transsexual Santa, you name and its got it.

Second is a fucking sick ass story that was submitted to the Druglife section. Thank AL that I've never had an experience like the one in that story. I promise you all that the day I get drunk and have a banana shoved up my ass, is the day I stop drunking.

Third is a double dose of double Sexy Bitch's to make

I think that Drew has gone trashy again. I know she was smoking crack when she was nine and all, but she used to be so sexy. I watched some of Charlie's Angles the other day and even though I'd still stab it, Drew looks a little like trailer trash.

And now for something completely different:

It's a new week which means that clicking here and here might just save your life. Or not.

Now you have done it. You have gotten a false impression and are sticking with it. Haven't you been listening to anything that I've been saying?

You didn't take my warning the other day and now you're scared to click on the links I set. Let me just explain something to you; The link that I warned you about WAS NOT a virus. It was an annoying java loop which is completely harmless.

Dragking from Hate the Mainstream came after me with a 10 pin bowling ball in a sock because I set a link to his site the other day and nobody would click on it out of fear that it would be another "virus".

I promise you that I'll never link to anything like that again. Trust me, I'm completely honest when I'm drunk, and way to stoned to keep a straight face while I'm lying.

Sit back, relax, do nothing. You'll laugh, you'll cry, feel nothing. Implanted images of morality.

I feel like shit. I've been getting headache's regularly and the Tylenol just isn't helping anymore. Maybe I should go and see a doctor and try to get something a little bit stronger, or just get put to sleep.

AL that sounds like the voice of depression. It couldn't be though, I'm far to happy for depression. Besides depression was so 90's.

An out of uniform cop showed up at my house in an unmarked car today. I hid in the basement and told me dad to say I wasn't around.

Is it possible that a cop or two read my post form the other day? If I'm lucky maybe I can make it onto Peel's most wanted list. My crime could be spreading the truth, until they got a hold of me which is when the charges would turn into assaulting an officer or some bull shit like that. Cops around here don't like it if they bruise their knuckles when they are punching the fuck out of you.

They are against me. I hate them. The best game online linked me a few days ago and was sending some heavy traffic in my direction. Last night the host of that game made them take down the link they had to my page. Is it possible that the content of this page is questionable? Impossible.

Fuck the Man, man. The Internet is supposed to be free, unsanctioned, uncontrolled. I think that it is completely retarded that a host has the nerve to impose their ass raping capitalistic brain washed ways upon the poor struggling webmasters of the world.

I can hardly keep my eyes open right now. Yesterday I spent more than 12 straight hours drunking. I hit the beer store twice and ended up crashing at a friends house. I got kicked out when he left for work which is the only reason I'm awake at this bizarre time of the day.

I think that it should be mandatory that everyone sleep in until at least noon everyday. The world has nothing to offer this early. Just think of how happy everyone would be if they got a good nights sleep everyday. Power to the people, I'm going back to bed!

Today I finished the last of my responsibilities for the rest of the year. For celebration I went out and picked up a twelve of Moose Head....at 10:30am. I've been drinking them, and whisky since then. I'm completely drunk and have been since like 11:30am. It doesn't feel like it's night time at all.
I feel like I should get riveted in the forehead with one of those big ass rivet guns. In other words I feel like shit.

I got a bunch of e-mail the other day having to do with my "Warning Link". What can I say? I warned you in every way that I could. Maybe you will trust me now. No Sexy Bitch, I'm too drunk.

Mike Wilkinson submitted a new sex move so go take a look. It's called a "Jelly Donut" and it combines lust, violence, and utter filth. You'll love it!

I'd like you to meet Sara. Sara became an ALien about four weeks ago and is now right into it all. She quit her job and joined the brotherhood. Sara now spends her days lounging in her comfortable gear and smoking some dank buds.

While Sara is red eyed she likes to play edrugtrader for hours on end, trading coke and pimping her hoes. After making a small fortune she normally takes a nap for a few hours. When she awakes she feels angry with the way the world is and has angst towards little boy bands and Nike wearing androids. At this point Sara might stop by Hate the Mainstream for some anti-authoritarian talk. The rest of her day is a mystery, but I believe it has something to do with some hardcore bondage.

Just a reminder that if you want to trade links just ask.