I've gotten tons of e-mails from people wondering if I had died from whatever it was I was talking about in my last update. That couldn't be further from the truth; I spent the evening of the 22nd (Friday) completely fucked up off the wickedest shit I've ever gotten my

And now for something completly different:

In case you didn't notice (fucking retard) I finally got my cam working again so you can expect tons of images to be flooding the site; drugs, girls, drunkenness, my pot-head rat, my life.

My stomach has been shit lately. I've had problems with it for a few years now but it's been decent until about a week ago. Awful cramps come from nowhere and I regret the constant drunking I've been doing for the past several years. Any medical advice? Please give me a few hints, I can't stand constantly running to the can.

I don't know how you all survived without your daily dose of a Sexy Bitch, maybe you played a game or two while you were waiting. I really hope that every one got nice and drunk for Christmas, it's such a cold time of the year that you may feel it if you're sober.

If you're bored while you have all of your boring family over maybe you should try dressing up like a snowman and going undercover, you might just get lucky and have some horny slut jump your

frosty bone. If that's not your thing why don't you check these out; this and that. You may find something worthwhile enough to kill a few hours.

If you're looking for some love over the Holiday's your best bet is probably going to be looking right here. If you're looking for horney sluts you needn't look any further, you're prayers are answered.

As for me, I'm going to go smoke the rest of this stuff and get ready for some deep sleep.

Did you miss something? Don't lose sleep over it, it wasn't anything important.

Thanks to our lovely postal service some top secret shit arrived for me today and it's got me all wound up. I don't want to spoil the surprise but you can be sure you'll hear all about it tomorrow, when I regain consciousness.

Close my eyes and inhale, pray. If I survive I'm in for hours of fun for less money than I've ever

spent before. If I don't survive than I'm in for a really bad time, or at least my parents are cause they'll be the ones stuck with the funeral bill.

Have I captured your interest yet?

Well stay tuned for the sequel tomorrow; Same bat time, same bat channel.

Sometimes I wish that I lived in the world that Aldous Huxley dreamed up oh so many years ago in a Brave New World. Even though it was a benevolent dictatorship - or at least a benevolent oligarchy, I sometimes wish that I was a part of it.

Sometimes I think suppression is only objectionable when you don't know that you are being suppressed. Would I be happier if I was designed to do what I was doing? Would I no longer crave freedom and dread work? Would I be content and not feel so sedated? Probably.

A government created society that is sedated by a euphoric drug called Soma. Everyone is happy, other than the few unlucky souls that clue into it all nobody has objections or any problems. Life is simple, happy, basic. What more could you want?

Wait a minute! FUCK THAT!

I can't swallow pills whole.

Sitting at the table I brought my hand to my mouth and placed the pills on my tongue. I brought the glass to my lips and let some fluid into my mouth. I brought one of the pills back between my molars with my tongue and crunched; the bitter taste gagged me. It tastes like you feel before you vomit. I quickly swallowed the broken pieces and repeated the process until I could feel no more little bits in my mouth.

I looked over to the right at my friend who was sitting with me. He was wearing a white cap and a plain light colored shirt. I looked to my other side at the guy who was sitting there. He was wearing a dark sweater with one of those big hoods that look ridiculous; I smiled.

I put my head down on the table and walked towards my house. When I got closer to the cove that's right before the initial door my eye was caught by something. I gazed to the next cove and there was a shady looking guy there. In the midst of his irritation he got a look at me and started in my direction.

If I could get behind this door I'd be safe. I hastily dug into my pocket for my keys, but the pocket got deeper and deeper still, and by the time I found my savior key it was too late. I stood up and walked around the door but when I got there he was on me.

He was heavy and my body grew chilled. I looked to left and the hooded fellow was holding my wrist. I looked to my other side and my friend had some blood on his shirt.

I pulled my wrist free and pulled my head out of the toilet. The smell was awful. I checked my watch and it was 4:00 am. I used my three middle fingers to wipe the drool from my chin.

I stood up from the table and spit the pills out of my mouth. I knew where I was going because I had gone there before. My escape from reality seemed unappealing and I didn't want any part of it. I rolled over and went back to sleep. Unconsciousness is my only real goal.

Say YES to drugs!

I just crawled out of bed and my head is throbbing. My shift started almost five hours ago, but fuck it. They haven't phoned me or anything so I figure that they haven't even noticed that I'm not there. This has to be the easiest job I've ever had but work is still shit and I absolutly hate it.

I'm the worst salesman in the world. They pay me to sell Bell Sympatico high speed internet access, or regular dial-up from AT&T but on the side

I sell anything else that I can. This is where the trouble starts because I think I'm way too honest with the customers.

For example someone will walk up with a spool of 50 blank cd's and ask how much they are. Instead of telling them they are $49.99 I pull them off to the side and say "Dude, go hit Computer Outlet and get a spool of 100 blanks for $39.99." If someone asks me about a game I tell them to save their money and download it off mIRC. I don't waste my money on that kind of shit and I feel guilty taking other peoples cash when they can get it for free too.

I wonder how long I can go on skipping work, sneaking out early, and sending away customers before I get fired. I think I should save them the trouble and just quit. I'd much rather be at home sleeping or checking out some Sexy Bitches.

And Now For Something Completely Different:

Opps.

It's now 2:00am Dec, 20. and I'm just posting the update from earlier now.

When I last left you I was just starting to drunk but right now I'm completely tanked. My writing is going to be completely incoherent and meaningless but I just have to get this shit posted.

I'm in rough shape and really happy that I don't plan on going to work tomorrow. No Sexy!

I am not made for work. I got to work attentively at 2:00pm like I'm supposed to but did absolutely nothing. I swear that the management at Future Shop is more incompetent than the retard that runs this site, and gayer than the guy that runs this site.

It's unbelievable what I am getting away with at this job. I admit that my day is pretty fucking boring but at least I'm making some capital. My day consists of playing Tony Hawk 2 on the game demo TV thing, or just walking around in circles. I left work without telling anyone today, four hours before my shift ended. That's the only reason I'm home, normally I'm not supposed to get off until 10:00pm.

In celebration of my new found free time, I'm working on getting drunk with a friend that's home from school for the holiday's. He goes to school all the way in fucking Thunder Bay which is the shit because he get's to fuck all sorts of chubby Eskimo chicks with hoarse riding asses.