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So
there is a new poll up. The previous one concluded
that the majority of druglife's readers are straight-out
pot heads.
This
new poll is different from the last one, you can
select as many choices that apply. Hopefully the
results from this poll will actually have some
sort of meaningful value.
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Hottie
| Hottie
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Now
as promised I give you;
Druglife's
gross ass dictionary definitions:
Anal
Boot [n] -
An anal boot is when you take a pitcher of beer,
have everyone spit in it, stir it with a cock
and then the mixture is poured through the crack
of a man's ass into the waiting mouth of the loser
of a bet or drinking game. It beats playing Twister.
Australian
Death Grip [n] -
The act of grabbing a woman by the crotch and
staring deeply into her eyes until you're slapped
or kissed. Attempted only by the daring, drunk
and/or horny. A recommended tactic for very crowded
bars. Another great opportunity for wagering among
friends, hence leading to an Anal Boot (see above).
Beef
Curtain [n] -
The shanked out remains of the labia after being
stretched like Play-doh after an hour or so of
jimmy-jam (aka Beef Drapes, Meat Tarp, Piss Flappers,
Quim Nuts, Vertical Bacon Sandwich).
Blocking
the Box [n] -
When you and your pal are double-teaming a chick
-he's got her from behind, you've got her mouth.
Selfishly, he drops his load in her, thus preventing
you from using that input later (aka Access Denied
Error, Road Closed Due to Bad Conditions).
Chocolate
Cha-Cha [n] -
Also known as Anal Sex. Used in a sentence: "John
and George danced the chocolate cha-cha all night."
(aka Driving the Hershey Highway, Riding the Dirt
Trail, Utilizing the Third Input, Poking the Brown
Eye'd Monster)
Consolation
Prize [n] -
When you take a girl home from the bar, thinking
you're going to get laid, and from all of the
drinks you've been feeding her all night long,
she passes out on the bed before you can even
get your pants off. To get revenge, you jerk off
and spray your load all over her back. Even though
you lost and didn't get laid, the satisfaction
you got is almost as good, hence the term consolation
prize.
DDF
[n] -
Known as Distance Distortion Factor. It refers
to someone who may seem attractive from far away
but is ugly upon closer inspection - "good from
far, far from good". Used in a sentence: "Woah,
she's hot... wait a sec...ugggh major DDF!"
Fugly
[n] -
Simply speaking...it means Fucking Ugly. Used
in a sentence: "Damn that bitch was fugly!"
Fumilingus
[v, n] -
When a man (or woman) performs cunnilingus on
a woman and she farts directly in his face.
Game
of Smiles [n] -
This games involves men sitting around a circular
table and a woman giving random blowjobs underneath
the table. Anyone who "smiles" has to buy a round
of beer for the rest.
Going
to the Bullpen [v] -
The act of fingering the anus prior to having
anal sex. It kind of "paves the way".
Goobin
[n] -
One of the many wives had by an old-style Mormon
who is not the main wife. The setup usually involves
having your one "main" wife and the rest of your
other wives who are strictly used for procreation.
Hence "Goobin" - a bin for his goo. Used in a
sentence: "Mary's one of John's goobins".
Jim
Henson [v] -
When you fist someone and physically lift them
off the ground. (aka The Muppett, Ass Puppet,
Meat Puppett)
Kennebunkport
Surprise [n] -
The act of covertly filling your cheeks with chunky-style
New England Chowder, and screaming in disgust
as you hurl it between your partners legs while
chewing box. Not recommended for first timers.
Leave-in
Conditioner [n] -
Dollops of semen strategically left in a woman's
hairdo at a public gathering following fellatio.
A good lesson for those who refuse to swallow
the evidence.
Matching
Drapes [n] -
Reference to whether or not a woman's pubic hair
color matches the hair on her head. Used in a
sentence: "Wow, what a hot looking blonde, but
I wonder do the curtains match the drapes?".
Paying
the Rent [n] -
A position in which the woman is folded in half,
knees above shoulders, while the man holds the
back of her calves and bangs her ferociously.
Pencil
Sharpener [n] -
A chick who gives a rough and toothy blowjob that
scrapes your willy up something awful.
Reading
the Defense [n] -
The concept of a guy making a split second decision
when in a situation to score with some chick when
out without his girlfriend/wife. "Reading the
Defense" refers to making all of the proper "game
time adjustments" as to not get caught cheating
later on at some point. Having Beer Goggles on
makes it very hard to Read the Defense.
Rusty
Trombone [n] -
The process by which one person is tossing a guy's
salad and then reaches around and gives them a
hand job.
San
Diego Surprise [n] -
The act of bringing a girl home and while fucking
her, having a friend in waiting enter the room
naked in hopes of a consensual threesome. Named
by Navy guys stationed in San Diego. Rumored to
work about one third of the time.
The
Southern Trespass [n, v] -
Most frequently occurs when an over zealous (drunken)
man is involved in intercourse with his lady friend.
Through lack of coordination, or simply because
he wants to do it, the man quickly switches from
the woman's vagina to the corn hole, without missing
a beat. If executed properly, this act catches
the female by complete surprise, stunning her
like a cattle prod to the ass in a rainstorm.
No matter how long the man reaps the benefits
of his efforts, he can now be content with the
fact that he has committed the coveted Southern
Trespass and poked the brown-eyed monster.
Throwing
A Pickle Down A Hallway [v] -
An expression for when you've just layed the pipe
to some fat chick who has a really big and loose
box. Used in a sentence: "I may as well have just
thrown a pickle down the hallway instead of fucking
Fat Tara's loose gash."
Twinkler
[n, v] -
When you are 69-ing with the honey and she gags
on your member and you can see her bung-hole pucker
up. Not a good thing to point out on your second
date.
Tupperware
Party [n] -
When three guys are triple-teaming a chick and
feeling mighty "Glad".
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