Smoking up the first time after getting over an illness is like a present to your body and mind.

Dragking from Hate the Mainstream is helping me out on a little something that I have been working on. Click here to check it out, and maybe you'll give him a little more intuition to get the job done. I warn you now though, if you can't read... don't go to his site. You won't find any pornography, well... just a little, sort of, but don't hold it against him because if you have half a brain you'll like what you see.

Another VERY cool site I've recently had the fortunate opportunity to stumble upon is a wicked site from Amsterdam called the SmokersGuide. You have to check it out, it's a definite must see. They have a huge list of different types of weed and hash that the site ops have actually tried and rated themselves!

Have you ever wondered what Thai stick really smells and tastes like? Click here to find out.

I wish I lived in a place where marijuana was legal, I'd spend all my time in one of those smoke coffee shop things. I could start up my own TV show that could be just like Friends© accept everyone would be a druggie and... well, I'm sure you can figure the rest out.

I really do love shameless promoting. Since I dropped all the advertisement bull shit I've become a much happier fellow. Sending hits to well deserving sites is much more satisfying than earning 3 cents a click. (<Evil Webmaster> says: hahaha, those silly fools just paid for the glue on the next joint I smoke by clicking on that link, hahaha!) Keeping track of affiliates and bragging about sites that actually suck is a really cheap and false thing to do.

Falseness is a very bad character flaw. Don't take the risk of catching the dreaded falseness and listen to your mother, wear a scarf and toque when it's cold out!

I promise that there will be a different bitch for you tomorrow. I've fallen behind in my infected state but I'm sure you can forgive me, no hard feelings? Right, right.

Before I leave you all to go smoke more dope and then pass out I want you to take a minute to check out this site, they have tons of funny original video's for your viewing enjoyment.

This is one of the coolest life analysis I've ever seen:

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death. What's that, a bonus?

I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating. . .you finish off as an orgasm.

That right there is true brilliance. If life was really like that I guarantee that the world would be a much happier place. One of mankind's greatest fears is death, think about what it would be like if that fear was lifted. Everyone would feel much freeier, ending life as an orgasm, pure bliss.

I've been sick for the last few days and I'm starting to loose it. Going an entire weekend without drinking is crazy.

Last night I got this horrible, horrible headache and spent about 4 hours in bed moaning and groaning convinced that my brain was going to explode. It was absolutely awful, it was like my brain was expanding and my skull was going crack open to relieve some of the pressure.

Who am I kidding, the real reason my brain was trying to get away is because in my sick and weakened state I haven't been feeding it any intoxicants. It's pissed off and was trying to get even with me.

After I figured that out I became happy and decided to go fishing. Aquarium fish are mostly bones, I caught seven fish and only got about one mouthful of meat out of them. I feel so cheated.

I never really make fun of people who mail me. If someone wants a link exchange I normally just do it. This person though, was just asking for me to make fun of them, and I just can't resist.

From: monde Subject: druggier weblog than mine? wow!

amazing, dude. i didn't think it was possible.

i am going to grab one of your bannerlets and link to you five minutes ago.
(you trip as much as i have, you can pretty much time travel at will...)

my own effort in a psychotrippical weblog is:
(badda-bing-badda-boom!)

Randomonium

---
Got some additional contributions for your "What pornos would have you believe" list:

30. Women are all thin. They have big tits - yet have no signs of tummies that are anything but completely flat.

31. Just like in that old 70s movie "Logan's Run", when females reach age 30, they are somehow caused to cease to exist.
---

Reading through some of your writings, I notice that your site seems mostly geared to male audiences and seems to strive to piss off women. Is this true? I am a girl who does not take stuff like "bitch" and whatnot seriously. But I don't have much patience with jokes about how unfuckable fat chicks are supposed to be. I am one and me (and my boyfriend) know this to be just so very utterly untrue. At any rate, I usually don't link sites with material like that on them...for example, I really hate stile project and its many imitators...but I will make an exception in your case because of the drug thing...we must all come together in these hard times. (Looking at that sentence, it looks like I just said something perverted.).

psychedelic cheerios,
demitria

This e-mail is kind of hard to decipher, it seems as if their are three individual messages from what sounds like two different people.

The first part of the message is nothing special, just a typical link exchange request. The second part is just two shitty additions to the "druglife's list of what porno's would like you to believe," from February 7th. The third part though, is a completely different story.

I notice that your site seems mostly geared to male audiences and seems to strive to piss off women. Is this true?

To tell you the truth, I've never really thought about it before. Now that you bring it up though; I am a guy with a guys point of view, and I post pictures of naked woman instead of naked men. For those reasons alone you could say that this site is inadvertently geared at a male audience. Do I strive to piss off women? What can I say, sometimes it's just fun!

I am a girl who does not take stuff like "bitch" and whatnot seriously.

Good for you, bitch!

I don't have much patience with jokes about how unfuckable fat chicks are supposed to be. I am one and me (and my boyfriend) know this to be just so very utterly untrue.

I don't even remember saying that, but do you realize that you just admitted to being an "unfuckable fat chick"?

I usually don't link sites with material like that on them...for example, I really hate stile project and its many imitators...but I will make an exception in your case because of the drug thing.

Excuse me? You will make an exception? Well let me get on my knee's and kiss your chubby little toes for stooping down low enough to link me. Unfortunately you should have asked me what I thought first, because I'm NOT willing to "make an exception" and link to a self proclaimed dumb unfuckable fat chick. Sorry.

On another note, I don't think there are any unfuckable chicks out there, they just have to find a guy willing to do the nasty with someone who doesn't have the stereotypical slim look.

But, there are plenty of girls out there that I wouldn't fuck with someone else's cock.

Christ all mighty, you've gotten me all worked up. I better go look at some sexy bitches before I gag. Please don't mail me a response to this, I don't want to have to deal with any more shit right now.

Good night.

From: Joe Gottlieb Subject: Stupid People

Kyle,
---I hate stupid people just as much as you do. I like your site and visit almost on a daily basis. The most recent post of "hate mail" and my current wasted state of mind are calling me to write. I just picture some fuckin momma's boy nerd who never left the house and thinks the Internet is the best way to get back at the world. What a lame ass excuse for hate mail. I don't even want to go to "madkewl.com" (laughing my ass off) I'm sure you'll be tearing his site apart, and I'll still be laughing my ass off. Thank you for the entertainment with attitude. However, I could definitely drink you under the table and would love to prove it. It seems to me that you and your buddies, and mine would make one hell of a game of Asshole (a drinking game) Considering the common theme, a passion for getting fucked up, requiring a different combination of drugs to get there every night, and making it to the next day..........

That sounds wicked, but I assure you, my friends and I could easily drink circles around every last one of you.

Unlike you, I don't go around making threats without being able to back them up. If you check over here, back on Dec 5 you'll see that I've been planning a Drunk Off © for well over a month.

If you think you can drink me under the table, which I'm sure you can't, you better get your web cam and a 40oz of tequila ready because you just entered yourself into the competition. As soon as I get my act together you'll be hearing from me.

On a different subject, this is the kind of mail I love getting. Shit like this makes me cook a bowl and laugh, I actually have readers that don't use AOL, and have actually seen some drugs.

Druglife's list of what porno's would like you to believe:

1. Women wear high heels to bed.
2. Men are never impotent.
3. When going down on a woman 10 secs is more than satisfactory.
4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.
5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.
6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.
7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.
8. Women always orgasm when men do.
9. A blowjob will always get a women off a speeding fine.
10. All women are noisy roots.
11. People in the 70's couldn't root unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.
12. Those tits are real.
13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's ass.
14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.
15. If there is two of them they "high five" each other.(and the girl isn't disgusted!)
16. Double penetration makes women smile.
17. Asian men don't exist.
18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.
19. There's a plot.
20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the ass.
21. Nurses suck patients cocks.
22. Men always pull out.
23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before rooting the both of you.
24. Women never have headaches... or periods.
25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it". 26. Assholes are clean.
27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.
28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a cock there.
29. Men don't have to beg.
30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back
of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.

I've gotten a wide variety of hate mail since I started this site, but today I got the lamest excuse for hate mail ever. Check this out:

From: Bob Smith Subject: Fan Mail

I just want to say I am your number one fan. Oh wait I must be thinking of a website that doesn't suck. I must say that after extensive research your website sucks the crab infested region of your mom's crotch.... I must ask the question do you smoke cock...? From the looks of it you like to smoke many things and I've been kind of lonely lately hanging around Madkewl and the whores there just aren't the same anymore... I used them all. Does your mom still make house calls? She was good at it... Meet me at the Flameboards at Madkewl.com if you wish to respond to this... If not then fuck off cock knocker.

I have no problem with hate mail, none at all, but don't try to trick me into giving you a link, if you want me to plug your site you can just ask!

Now take a close look at this e-mail and you'll notice the common traits of hate mail. There's the mother bashing "crab infested region of your mom's crotch" and of course classic insult directed at the webmaster "do you smoke cock...?" But where this e-mail differs from normal hate mail is the obsessive reference made to Madkewl: "hanging around Madkewl", "Meet me at the Flameboards at Madkewl.com"...

By the time I got that far in I was convinced that it was someone from Madkewl trying to get a plug for their site on druglife or trying to start some type of rivalry shit. To add to my suspicions check out the guys address who sent me the letter, "fake413@yahoo.com", clearly a self proclaiming fake. What a pile of shit.

What a waste of my time, I could have smoked eight bowls in the time I was writing this.

Besides, my mom stopped making house calls in the 80's, way before you were even born you prepubesant aol-using shmegma eating crackerass motherfucker!

"Everything that is not in our head eventually ends up as dust." - magdalyn

How do you feel about death? Do you believe in reincarnation?

I'm not too sure about the whole thing but the above quote is completely true if you do. On the other hand, if you don't believe in life after death, everything in your head turns to dust as well.

As far as I'm concerned either which way you might as well have the time of your life. Get completely high, stay promiscuous, and most importantly have one hell of a time. If this is your only shot at it you better not waste it.

Some people say that doing drugs and shit like that IS wasting your life. I couldn't agree less. When you're 89 years old laying in some hospital bed next to me, how happy are you going to be with what you accomplished? "I was the president of an internet company... I had a loving wife... I made $300, 000, 000.00 a year..."

Yea, well when you were in your board meetings at 7:30am I was on ecstasy with your daughter, and may I add that she sucks some really good dick! Oh, and when you took your nice evening jog to stay in shape so you can live a few days longer, I was on this really great acid trip having a conversation with my pet rat. May I add that we're both in the same situation right now, I bet you're glad you spent about 15,000 hours of your life jogging.

I believe in fate. I believe that things have been set. I think that you can do whatever the fuck you feel like doing, and your going to end up at some "designated destination."

The path from point A to point B is trivial;

There are dozens of choices in life, choose X, choose Y, it doesn't really matter becuase "Everything that is not in our head eventually ends up as dust."

That sounds so depressing, all I'm trying to do is get you to have a good time, while you can.

It may only be because I'm high, but I'm wondering what the deal with Curious George is. Now, I understand the whole "curious monkey" aspect, but I just can't grasp what the hell is with The Man in the Yellow Hat.

Now unless I've been living in a bubble, I think there may be something wrong with a full grown man, who dresses in all yellow, that just happens to keep a pet monkey.

I think that reading Curious George to our children is exposing them to some sort of perverted bestiality porn fantasy of some twisted writer. No wonder their are 40% more parents that walk in on young boys smearing peanut butter on their cocks so their dogs will lick it off than their were 15 years ago. Our parents raised a generation of perverts.

If you ever have a friend over to your house that is always paying a lot of attention to your pets, ask him if he used to read Curious George when he was little. Fifty bucks says he did!

Let me guess, that just blew your mind. All these years of wondering why you stick your thumb up you cats ass exposed! All those years of expensive therapist sessions wasted. No thanks necessary, I'm just doing my job.