I AM ITALIAN

Ciao...
I'm not a construction worker, a brick layer or a school janitor. I don't live in a basement, or eat pasta every night. And I don't drive a Camaro, and I don't know Tony, Rocco or Gino from Woodbridge, although I'm certain they're very very hairy people.

I drink wine...not beer. I don't use utensils for pizza. I believe in open bars at weddings, not cash, and its pronounced ESPRESSO, not EX-PRESSO. I can proudly fly my country's flag out of my car during the world cup. Gelato IS ice cream, Biscotti ARE cookies, Pavarotti IS the best of the three tenors, and it's Broo-SKetta, not Broo-SHetta!!
Italy is the ONLY country shaped like footwear, The FIRST nation
of soccer, And the BEST part of Europe!! My name is Guiseppe!!
AND I AM ITALIAN!

I AM PAKISTANI

Allo,
I'm not a cab driver, a 7-11 clerk or a gas attendant. I don't go to flea markets, or worship elephants, or eat with my hands, and I don't know Akbar, Rampreet or Mohammed from Rundle, although I'm certain they're very smelly people.

I eat roti....not pita. I don't only shower once a week, I believe in discounts, not full price. I pronounce it WHAT, not VHAT. I can proudly fly my country's flag out of my car during a terrorist siege. A turban IS an article of clothing. Spicy foods ARE better than mild foods. Curry is a VERY tasty dish, and it IS pronounced Gaun-dee, not Gun-dee, GAUN-dee!! Pakistan IS a third world country, the first nation of Cricket, and the BEST part of the middle east!! My name is Raheem! AND I AM PAKISTANI!

I AM CHINESE!

Wai...
I'm not a cook, a computer tech, or the owner of a laundromat. I don't live with my parents, I don't eat dog. I don't drive a supped-up Civic. I don't know Ping, Ching or Wing from Beddingt Heights, although I'm certain they're very rice... I mean nice people. I use chopsticks, not a fork. I rarely drive on the sidewalk.

I believe in giving cash, not gifts, and I pronounce it HELLO, not HARRO. I can proudly wave my country's flag at a tank during a massacre. Dim sum IS brunch, Gwai-Los ARE white folk, Jet Li can kick Van Damme's ass any day, and it IS pronounced Gon Hay Fa Choi, not Gon HEE Fa. China is the LARGEST country in Asia. The FIRST nation of PING-PONG, and the BEST remaining COMMUNIST COUNTRY!! My name is FUNG!!! AND I AM CHINESE!!

I AM AMERICAN

Wassup...
I'm not particularly intelligent, open-minded, or well-liked. I don't live in a safe place, eat a balanced diet, or drive very well. I don't know Shakespeare, Da Vinci or Gutenberg, although I'm pretty sure they were American. I drink beer, not water. I am outspoken, not opinionated, and Guns settle disputes, not discussions. Winning isn't everything, it's the ONLY thing, and it's pronounced RUFF, not ROOF.

I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack, unless I go
somewhere. Burger King IS fine dining. Washing after peeing is for
LOSERS. Twinkies and Moon Pies ARE GOOD for breakfast, I have a
SHED, NOT a GARAGE, and WWF ACTION IS REAL! The UNITED STATES OF AMERICA is the ONLY country in the world, the FIRST nation of IGNORANCE, and the BEST part of SOUTH AMERICA!! MY NAME IS JIM-BOB, I am married to my sister, AND I AM AMERICAN!!

I AM DRUGGALO

Hell'Oi...
I'm not particularly sober, a nice guy, or able to remember your name. I don't live by their rules, eat at their restaurants, or drive while I'm sober. I don't know Larry, Curly, or Moe, although I'm certain they're all very high. I drink beer or liquor, not milk. Being high IS the only way, and it's pronounced SKLIFF, not SPLIFF.

I can proudly wave my middle finger at any form of authority. A joint at noon IS brunch, beer CAN substitute a meal, and if you fuck with me, you're fuckin' with your life. You mean nothing to me, I can't be killed, if you're not down with my tactics, you can suck my cock. Being a Druggalo IS the ONLY way of life, I live by MY word, and I want MY SHIT. MY NAME IS KYLE BERMER, I just impregnated your sister, AND I AM A MOTHER FUCKING DRUGGALO!!