Today marks a very strange point in druglife history, a very, very strange point. Today is the day that I received my first homosexual proposition (unless of course it's a girl using a guys address).

Reader Mail:
From: larry duff Subject: can u answer me this?

im applying for a job right & they give u a
drug test b4 they will let u work. i smoke hash farly
regular, is there a quick way 2 clean out ur system &
how long will it take 2 be clean?

p.s i would also if u dont mind{& i dont like 2 b
this forward but fuck it}. well if u could i would
very much like if u could send some pictures 2 me of
urself & of similar style 2 the 1 on ur website? i.e.
u naked or semi-naked!

Well Larry, it's really quite simple. All you have to do is drink about a cup and a half of Javex© or Drano© and you'll be good in about 20 minutes. It should clean out your system no problem.

Hmmm, naked pictures of myself? Here.

I apologize for putting that image in your mind, it had to be done though. I'll make up for it with these:

Hot | Hot | Hot
Hot | Hot | Hot | Hot
Hot | Hot | Hot | Hot

Reader Mail:
From: Chris Subject: joke

A guy in a mask bursts into a sperm bank with a shotgun."
Open the fucking safe" he yells at

the girl behind the counter. "But we're not a real bank" she replies. "We don't have any money; this is a sperm bank". "Don't argue!... Open the fucking safe or I'll blow your head off" She obliges and once she's opened the safe door the guy says "Take out one of the bottles and drink it". "But it's full of sperm!" she replies
nervously.

"Don't argue, just drink it" he says. She takes the cap off and
gulps it down. "Take out another one and drink it too" he demands.
She takes out another and drinks it as well. Suddenly the guy pulls
off the mask and, to the girl's amazement, it's her husband.
"Not that fucking difficult, is it?"

That joke cracks me up.

More | More | More | More | More | More | More

And now for something completely different:

I just got in and all hell has broken loose again. A week or two ago I thought I would be sent to rehab because of my father finding "inappropriate" things on my laptop. This time, something potentially more serious has risen.

I went out to get a little action and when I got home my father was waiting. Evidently Adult Friend Finder (AFF) decided to finally pay me. When this site was much younger I had signed up with AFF to make some capital. I dropped them long ago when I found out it was bullshit. I was never paid by them and all the banners have been off this server for ages. I figured I'd never hear from them, never get paid, and never think about it again.

I was naive about it, I put it out of my mind.

A check arrived today addressed to "druglife" and payable to Kyle Bermer. The checks for $55 but I couldn't care less, I stopped trying to profit from this site long ago when it made me feel false. What I do care about is what the fuck my father is thinking. Shit shit shit.

When he asked why it said druglife I just said "dunno" and walked away. I could tell him druglife is my "nick-name" or something, but if he types it into any search engine around I'm busted, no denying it.

I know this probably seems like some publicity stunt or something like that, but it's not. Trust me, if I was making this shit up it would be way more interesting and much more intense/severe.

If any of you crack heads out there have enough brain cells left to conjour up a decent excuse or a nice scheme let me know. If e-mail is not your style drop by the forum and help me out.

I need some suggestions, why the hell would it say druglife? Help me.

I'm going to go put on my thinking cap and see what I can come up with, no, I'm going to go lay in bed and cry.

Again | Again | Again | Again | Again | Again | Again... | Sexy Bitch

[11:50 - I've gotten an immediate response to this update... advice is to take this post down which would help in the event of an excuse. Father dearest seeing this post couldn't help the situation. Should this post be pulled?]

As the weekend comes to an end all of the children scurry back to their homes to resume what they call normal lives. A few hundred brain cells less, a few stories more, the grip of society again tightens itself around their necks.

If only their parents knew what they had been up to with their $20 allowance and the freedom of staying out at a friends. Parents are too loving to think that their "he's still just a kid," kid has been corrupted by society enough that they would take acid or some unknown prescription drug a friend hands them.

Parental denial, where would we be without it?

I can imagine what my folks would have done if they found out I was getting high when I was 14. I bet it would have shattered their world, turned their lives upside-down. I first got caught smoking dope in grade 10 (don't know what age, 16?) and it was a huge fucking deal to my mother, she thought she was the worst parent in the world. The fact that she used to do drugs didn't ease her mind at all, to her I had "gone down the wrong road in life," and it was her job to "save me". That was years ago, she gave up a long time ago, now she just wants to be my friend.

What a strange relationship the youth of today have with their parents/guardians, who is really running things? Parents believe that their child is innocent and their child keeps up the persona and plays the role so they can continue doing whatever they want behind the backs of unsuspecting, trusting parents.

I'm an only child but have pretty large extended family. Out of my generation (12 or so cousins) I'm the only one that grew up in a large city. I had seen someone get stabbed and tried a handful of different drugs when my peers were watching the Simpson's and going to bed at 8:30pm. My world was MY world, it was hidden from everyone that loved or cared about me, it was only shared with friends who have come and gone.

Looking back at my life when I was younger, my parents lived in a world that wasn't exposed to who I really was. Our lives depended on the completely fake relationship we had fallen into. What a bizarre place this world has become; Lives built on lies and denial.

I don't think I want anything to do with all of this falseness. Get me out, I want my money back, I didn't read anything about this in the contract when I signed up.

I feel like the White Rabbit from Alice in Wonderland, no time, no time no time no time.

here | here | here | here | here | here | here
here | here | here | here | here | here
here | here | here

Time to flee, the Queen, the Queen will have my head!
I have to go, no time!

So D-roll calls and says he spilled some oil on his Worms Armegaddon cd, the cd he NEEDS to play online. So:

" 'llo "
" hey man, can you burn me worms, I'll make it worth while..."
" uuuhhhh "
" Nice green sticky harry dank bud "
" uuuhhhh "
" I can be over in 15 minutes, k ? "
" Who is this?"
" D-Roll man, we have a deal?"
" ummm, sure... *click*

=15 Minutes later (exactly)=

" ZZZZzzzZZZzzzZZZZzzz"
*Ding Dong!*...Bark Bark Bark
" ZZZZzzzZZZzz----...uuuhhhh, wha?"
*gets up, goes upstairs*
" 'Sup"
" Waaazzzzzzuuuuuupppp- *SMACK*
" Sorry, I just had to... Come in "
*Walks inside and takes out a spliff*
" Here, "
" Cool. "
" Lets go"
" Cool "

*The two proceed through the house and exit the back door. They step outside the backdoor spark up, sit bar, and relax.*

=15 Minutes later=

" Later "
" Later man."

*D-Roll exits*

The Preceeding was a Druglife Production©.

And now for something completely different:

So what's everyone doing this evening? Drop a line in the forum and let me know. Molly, you better not be cheating on me! Bob, you keep your hands off her, go after Mary!

I'm starting off early; I'm already high, and picking up more gear later. I have work at 3:00pm, but I can grab off a guy there. 1/4 of shrooms, and an Oz. of some sweet hydro. Hit the liquor store after work for a 26er of Bacardi Black Rum. In less than half an hour I'll have more drugs than I know what to do with, It'll take me 'till 7:30am to finish it all. Jeeze, long night ahead.

I bet that's nothing compared to what bizarre shit you have goin' down.

I think I can fit in another quick nap, posse out.

I swapped around some of the buttons I keep under the "Reading Material" heading on the left for a little change.

The sites that I link there are sites that I think are worth the visit, not to mention worth a little exploration. The newest editions are Pheends and Two Inches Fully, check them both out, nice design and definitely some quality content.

Additionally, a ton of this page has been moved over here. The only reason that that's special is it also means the Sexy Bitch Archive has been updated; Click here to see loads of sexy bitches.

Lastly, another section has been added; Click here to find out what men will never say.

Flow, hmm. Just another meaningless title that will wrongly introduce a meaningless topic.

I would like to share a few thoughts I've been having about the "school shooting" trend. Take a look at some of the youth roaming the streets now a days, a generation raised on fast food,

commercialism and movies like Natural Born Killers(one of my fav's). For most of my generation family life was nonexistent; The divorce rate skyrocketed and left millions of youth under the care of one parent. I give single parents lots of credit for trying, but there's no way one person can monitor a child by themselves. The kid of a single parent can get away with murder and hide it without even trying.

I'm getting off topic so I'll stop there.

My problem isn't with people shooting up school's, it's the crummy job they do of it. I hear of shootings in the news about "four dead and 11 injured," and it irks me. If you're going to do something put in the effort and do it right.

I mean I'm not going to go shoot up a school or anything, but if I did I'd set some goals. Like, 50 students and 15 teachers or something. How hard is it to walk into a crammed audotorium with some twisted assault rifle and mow down more than a handful of unarmed helpless people?

Personally I don't think anyone should go on killing spree's. With today's laws you'll end up spending the rest of your life in prison. It simply isn't worth the few minutes of PCP induced insanity. As soon as it was over you'd regret it, your stomach would hit the ground and the slap in the face of "my life is over" would quickly get your attention.

Prison isn't fun, you don't want to end up there. Actually, scratch that, I hear it isn't that bad once you get used to the sodomy. Free meals, clean rooms, clean sheets... yea, not bad at all.

I feel sorry for people that are locked away wasting their lives. I saw a show where a guy got 10 years for punching a cop. PUNCHING, he didn't kill the fucking guy and he got 10 years.

We depend on the legal system for security and justice, but all it does is enforce the idea

that we don't have any real control over our lives. Nobody should have the right to physically retain you for your entire life. Sure, you did "take away" someone else's life and you could argue that when you did that you sacrificed you own, but that's just bibble babble. Slap me in the face, send me to rehabilitation, but for the love of god don't take away my world!

Think about how you'd feel knowing that you'd never take a hit off a bong again, or caress a beautiful woman. I'd bet my soul that you'd regret whatever it was you did that landed you in there.

I'm going to go for a walk, because I can. Want to join me?

*Retarded fucking update. Bullshit, it's all bullshit.

Druglife was recently featured in the "Stop the Morons" section of some site called BlackRage. The following is the review:

Druglife:

Sometimes the dumb is so strong not even a stake to the heart will kill it.

It's not that this guy doesn't try hard, because he does. He's just such a clusterfuck of left- and right-wing opinions that he fails masterfully at everything he tries to do. This site is really here because, despite lots and lots and lots of content, nothing the author actually produced himself is funny.

At all.

First off I would like to say that I think this review is wicked. They say I'm a "clusterfuck of left- and right-wing opinions" and I completely agree. On one hand I think that woman have the right to have abortions, but on the other hand I think they should be forced to give birth so we can stick the unwanted fetus' on a "people farm" and eat them when they get plump. Life, it's all about profit.

I don't think the reason I fail at everything is as simple as opposing opinions though. I think the real reason is because my dad used to touch me when I was a child. Deep down things like that don't go away, my shrink says it builds character but he's probably just trying to make me feel better.

Remember, the ONLY reason that this site is up is because nothing that I have produced is funny. Coincedentally that's also the reason that people keep coming, reading druglife is the only way they can stop laughing.

Never question yourself or change your point of view. No contraversial thought is allowed. Take a stand, make a choice, stick with it no matter what. Never, ever, EVER, fail.

Hey, atleast I try hard and have lots and lots and lots of content.

Stop the Morons! Down with druglife! Viva la Capital!

Sexy Blondes:
Blonde | Blonde | Blonde | Blonde | Blonde | Blonde | Blondes

Sexy Sites:
I Smoke Crack | Another Blonde | Heavy | Jackasses | Oh Yea | Amazon

Sexy Video's:
Bad Guess | Bad Mime | Been so long | Bloodshot eyes

Their is a new edition to druglife today, a brand new forum. No more ezboard junk, we're in the big-time now.

If you want to take a last look at the topics from the old forum click here. Other than that you can swing over and register for the new forum by following this link.

And now for something completely different:

For the low low price of $179.95 you can spend three days and two nights experiancing the craze that is sweeping the nation. TIME MAGAZINE© calls Kyle Bermer's Reality Tour© "the newest craze in American vacations. Taking a cruise was for the 90's, taking drugs is for the now." For the extent of your stay you will be stationed in the luxurious sweep of Kyle's Room, fully heated and with a great driveway view.
During your stay you will be bombarded with a wide variety of drugs ranging from microdots and coke, to dope and special cookies. You will take part in a wide variety of activities that will keep you busy for the duration of your stay.
When you arrive at Club Kyle© you will be given a large ration of drugs. These will be yours to freely consume as you desire throughout your stay. You will take part in all activities that Kyle takes part in: From having sex with girls he brings home and arguing with family, to ingesting so much drugs and alcohol that you no longer know who you are. The staff at Kyle Bermer's Reality Tour© guarantee that you will have the most spectacular time of your life. They are dedicated to serving your each and every need. Breakfast in bed, body rubs, hood washes... they'll do it all. Kyle Bermer's Reality Tour© comes with a 100% money back guarantee. Your satisfaction is our responsibility and we take it very seriously.
To finish your weekend off you will be sent against your will to Portage (a militant rehab clinic) to get rid of any nasty habits you picked up during your stay. For more information or scheduling, please contact Kyle Bermer via e-mail. Allow 3-5 business days for a reply.