I may be going away for a while. Somewhere far, far away... rehab. What a downer.

My personal motto has always been "Rehab is for Quitters," and now look at me. Fuck!

So what happened you ask? Well, lets just say that

nothing good can come from your father finding your website (the files on my computer, not from on the net)... when your website contains highly controversial content. Last time I let him send an e-mail using my setup, he can stick to his laptop from now on.

My father knows I'm a drunk, and knows I smoke pot, it just doesn't really matter to him. Him reading about me doing coke and shit is defiantly a bad thing though, not to mention all of the fucked up pics he must of seen. Shit shit shit.

Oh well, I guess it was going to happen sooner or later.

Druglife temptation island rip-off:
Nice | Nice | Nice | Nice | Nice | Nice | Nice | Not Nice

I'm scared. I saw it coming but now it's hitting me. Their's no way of me knowing exactly how he'll react once he reads some of these stories, but I know it won't be pretty.

What would your father do if he found out you were a drug addict and ran a website promoting drugs out of his house? Let me know, or atleast give me some frickin' advice here man.

Since I might be going away for a while, here: Some good sites to kindle your interests.

Buzman.org | HTM | Hobo's Anonymous | Corpsie | More...

That should be enough to keep you occupied until my return. If not, just go make some friends. I'd imagine that I'm not safe for another week. My father is known for letting things sit around before confronting me about them. When he found my 100 lot of acid back when I was in grade 10, he let me think I lost it for three days before he came to me with it.

"FUCK MAN!, what the hell do you think you're doing? You damn near gave me a fucking heart attack, I owe people for that shit, give it here."

You have to stand up for yourself in this cold bitter world, nobody else is going to do it for you. Don't let people push you around, you don't want to end up shooting up your school once you hit grade 12 do you? Didn't think so.

If I do get sent away for a while, just remember that drugs are good! Here, how could all these people be wrong?... Even the bible agrees.

"I believe that if people would learn to use LSD's vision-inducing capabilities more wisely, under suitable conditions, in medical practice and in conjunction with meditation, then in the future this problem child could become a wonder child." - Dr. Albert Hofmann, Discoverer of LSD

"I give you every seed bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food." -Genesis 1:29

"Make the most of hemp seed, sow it everywhere." -George Washington

"Marijuana is not a drug. Marijuana is an herb and a flower. God put it here. If He put it here and He wants it to grow, what gives the government the right to say that God's wrong?" - Willie Nelson, January 1990

I'm going now, I hope all of your prayers are with me. Enjoy.

I'm going to be straight up with you about something. Some have noticed the AllTrue banners that have been circulating here...

Don't be alarmed.

I am not making money with druglife! Money is bad. In exchange for putting up thier banners they have given me access to their video archives. What does this mean? It means that I can now post lovely video's for you each and everyday. As many as I want ,as often as I want.

AllTrue has over 2000 video's so if their is anything you'd like to see

mail me and I'll see what I can do. The best part about this is they contacted me, their was no groveling involved. No money, I like it.

Check out this one AllTrue video that's sort of what Car Denting is like... accept that in this vid they are wrecking their own car. Looks like fun.

nipple | ass | camel toe | more

I feel good right now. Pot helps but I crave something harder, something like airplane glue... Yea, the less brain cells, the less trouble. I smell a experiment; Here's the deal, you go sniff glue, and tell me how it is, ok? Great.

Things are getting snazzy around here. All the sections have been done over, the games, and one of the click throughs. Next comes the Wonderful World of Drugs.

Uh oh, my stash is calling my name again. Wish me luck.

I think that my city has gotten two feet of snow in the last eight hours and it's great. A friend of mine has a 1978 Jimmy with 4 wheel drive... it's a beast, every time it snows like mad out we go "Car Denting."

His truck can drive through deep snow like it's not even there. It plows through huge snow banks without slowing down at all. Normal cars, or even small trucks don't have a change in hell of catching us.

So what exactly is "Car Denting" you ask. Car Denting is the act of driving around and purposely skidding into numerous stationary or slow moving vehicles. Theirs nothing funnier than the look on someone's face when you smash into their passenger door and just keep driving. Even if they tried to follow you they'd be sliding all over the bloody place.

Car Denting is a victimless crime, go give it a try.

Their are a few people out there that have been sending me copious amounts of porn asking me to post it. Normally I don't post anything other than Sexy Bitches, but in an attempt to shut these people up, here:

O1 | O2 | O3 | O4 | O5 | O6 | O7 | O8 | O9 | O10 | O11 | O12

And now for something completely different:

The following information was gained through much arduous research involving men and women from all backgrounds and walks of life. It consists of the most frequently asked questions of women (i.e. relationships, sex and life in general). All women who read this are encouraged to use the wisdom contained therein to change their behavior in accordance with the truths established below.

Druglife's FAQ for woman.

Q: How do I know if I'm ready for sex?
A: Ask your boyfriend. He'll know when the time is right. When it comes to love and sex, men are much more responsible, since they're not as emotionally confused as women. It's a proven fact.

Q: Should I have sex on the first date?
A: YES. Before if possible.

Q: What exactly happens during the act of sex?
A: Again, this is entirely up to the man. The important thing to remember is that you must do whatever he tells you without question. Sometimes, however, he may ask you to do certain things that may at first seem strange to you. Do them anyway.

Q: How long should the sex act last?
A: This is a natural & normal part of nature, so don't feel ashamed or embarrassed. After you've finished making love, he'll have a natural desire to leave you suddenly, & go out with his friends to play golf. Or perhaps another activity, such as going out with his friends to the bar for the purpose of consuming large amounts of alcohol & sharing a few personal thoughts with his buddies. Don't feel left out - while he's gone you can busy yourself by doing laundry, cleaning the apartment, or perhaps even going out to buy him an expensive gift. He'll come back when he's ready.

Q: What is "afterplay"?
A: After a man has finished making love, he needs to replenish his manly energy. "Afterplay" is simply a list of important activities for you to do after lovemaking. This includes lighting his cigarette, making him a sandwich or pizza, bringing him a few beers, or leaving him alone to sleep while you go out and buy him an expensive gift.

Q: Does the size of the penis matter?
A: Yes. Although many women believe that quality, not quantity, is important, studies show this is simply not true. The average erect male penis measures about three inches. Anything longer than that is extremely rare and if by some chance your lover's sexual organ is 4 inches or over, you should go down on your knees and thank your lucky stars and do everything possible to please him, such as doing his laundry, cleaning his apartment and/or buying him an expensive gift.

Q: What about the female orgasm?
A: What about it? There's no such thing. It's a myth.

After updating the last few days I have gone out and smoked a huge spliff, unfortunately this tradition is coming to an end. What kind of dealer goes away for the night without calling his or her clientele? Obviously a bad businessman.

With nothing to smoke I have had some spare time on my hands today. Take a look around and check out some of the changes I made.

Sexy Bitch | Druglife 1 | 2 | Mr. Penis

at the front desk says, "go ahead."

This is pathetic.

Reader Mail:
From: Poufifiedbumbum@aol.com Subject: [No Subject]

hi kyle bermer! how's it going ? i was wondering if you could hook me up with some shrooms cause i can't fucking find any here. i'm not a total idiot, don't worry, but i really don't wanna get fucked or arrested. obviously you can find them wherever you live. i'm so trusting, aren't i? right, well, write me back and tell me if you'd be willing to mail me some if i'll give you the money. if you want, we should figure out like a trust thing or something so we'll trust eachother. eh that'll be pretty hard but we can do it. you seem hella chill so yeah. write me back. alright.
- julie

Send me some naked pictures of yourself that I can use for blackmail if you try to fuck me over. If you do that it will show me that I can trust you enough that I can send you some.

Sexy Bitch 1 | Sexy Bitch 2 | Sexy Bitch 3

And now as promised:

Druglife's pick-up lines that may get you killed.

1. If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?

2. If it's true that what we are is what we eat, I could be you by morning!

3. How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?

4. I was about to go masturbate and I need a name to go with your face.

5. My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.

6. Is that a keg in your pants? 'Cause I would love to tap that ass.

7. If your right leg was Thanksgiving, and your left leg was Christmas, could I meet you between the holidays?

8. You remind me of a championship bass: I don't know whether to mount you or eat you!

9. Your parents must be retarded, because you are special.

10. Could I touch your belly button...from the inside?

11. I'm not to good at algebra, but doesn't U + I = 69?

12. How about we play lion and lion tamer? You hold your mouth open, and I'll put my head in.

Those weren't as good as a remember them being, maybe it's because I'm sober right now. Let me know how shitty you think they are.

Don't forget about today's Sexy Bitch.

If you're wondering where everything is you can chill out, it's all right here.

You can find the Gross Definitions and Bermer's Guide to Quit Smoking on the left under the heading "Sections." If you have no idea what I'm talking about check them out by clicking here (to quit smoking), and here (to laugh your ass off).

A to the B | B to the C | C to the D | D to the Z

I'm on my way out to pick up some more zoomers (shrooms) in a few minutes. I found a guy that have a quarter pound of real high quality fungus and I want to capitalize on it.

And now for something completely different:

Take a swing by the Druglife Top 24 and check out some of the cool sites that have signed up. I think the newest member is filteredlife.

Reader Mail:
From: jimbo world Subject: seeds

hey man,
love your site, need more chicks...

anyways...i just finished building a site for this guy in town. he has a degenerative spinal disorder and has less than five years to live. pretty shitty when you consider he lives in a trailer park...

BUT...he also has a whole shitload of high quality pot seeds...northern lights strain...canada...and he asked me to build him a site to sell said seeds so he can retire and live out the rest of his days comfortably...

hows about giving him a link or a few plugs now and then to help him out? let us know your address and we'll send you something nice if you'd like. they seriously grow into fat bushes... and he only wants 5$ a pop!!!

thx j

Fuck you! He's lucky that he only has five years to live. I get constant headaches, I can't keep a straight thought, I'm bogged down with addictions, and I'm probably going to have to suffer with life for another sixty years. I think I should retire.

How the hell would anyone in a trailer park get their hands on high quality seeds anyways? Especially someone with some spinal bullshit that probably prevents him from even walking. I smell bullshit.

Yea, send me some of your magic seeds, I want to grow a magic bean stock and find a goose that lays magic golden eggs.

You're trying to sell seeds for $5 a pop and saying that's a good price? What a fucking joke. I've seen sites that sell seeds for $1 each and you can choose from any strain imaginable... not to mention they aren't coming for some white trash red neck trailer park.

Coming tomorrow: DRUGLIFE'S PICK UP LINES THAT MAY GET YOU KILLED

Oh, I missed updating the Sexy Bitch for a day or two. Just to let you know their is a new one up and it will again be updated daily.

Check out the forum and leave a thought or two behind. Right now their is some online drug dealing happening, do you think I should trust Shorty Boobness to sell me Adderoll and send it through the mail? Let me know.

A few people have asked how my Top 3 Referrer's list works. So I don't have to respond to several e-mails I'll explain it here. It's very simple, it is reset monthly and counts the hits that the site in question sends druglife. Easy as pie.

I smoked a fatty a while ago and am feeling pretty good. She was about 250lbs and had the floppiest tits. What?

I witnessed a police sting today. Their was a cop sitting in the parking lot of the store today for about half an hour. He was pissing me off so I asked him what the hell he was doing and he went on to tell me.

Turns out the reason he was facing McDonalds was because their was a stolen car just sitting there, and he was waiting to see who was going to get into it. I thought it was pretty funny that a few suckers were

going to get fucked over. Better them than me I guess.

I am in such a bitter mood right now it's not even funny. Their is a lot on my mind but I am too angry to express it. The alcohol is pumping anger through my veins.

I can't do this right now.